daddy doesn't know

It has been three days since my abortion. It was the hardest decision I've come to again. My son just turned one the beginning of the month, my daughter will be five soon. Their father left me seven months ago and it has been non stop juggling between schools, work, kids the only comfort has been my long time friend. He is the father of this unborn child. A child he wanted me to keep and raise alone. A child he only wanted to finically support. How could I do this bring another child into the world without a real support standing behind her and myself. How selfish would it be for me to keep a baby and take away from the babies I have. I question myself everyday but I know it would be selfish at the end and even tho I decided not to keep you, you will always be apart of me. I am selfish tho because your father did want you alive and I haven't found the words to say I took that forever. I am selfish because you will always be more mine than his.