Filing a toy

Hi sorry about my english I'm learning the language , this is my problem I new a gay 5 months ago , since the beginning we told each other that didn't wanted a relationship just sex no filings no nothing, for me was perfect, but in all those 5 months he didn't let me have sex with him , I did everything that I could imagine and he just didn't let me, he wasn't bad with me or something he kissed me and I'm bite me to go out but when the time came he jus literally run of me , he invited me for a trip we slept in the same bed everything and he just continue to not wanted. At 4 months of the same he started to be nasty with the intention to gros me os something. At this point I get so much frustrated and filing ugly not a women I couldn't understand how a man can wanted you feeling attractive for you but in the same time don't , he sometimes act like he wanted a relationship but in the same time just like friends and always talking about other girls in that stuff in didn't mind it , no filings , at 5 months for the first time he let me do more than the usual and finally we have sex but like 3 min less he just stop the he start to be nasty, he get dunk and just go away in don't know what to think of these way I'm feeling just a toy, felling not a women I don't know. I told him what I was feeling he laughed at Me and told me that I was crazy that he was dying got be with me in bed I don't know anything I'm sad I'm everything. I need advice tnks and again sorry for the english