Secretly Got On Birth Control Without SO Knowing

In December of 2016, I found out that I was pregnant. I was immediately terrified and panicked while my boyfriend on the other hand was very happy and excited. I later miscarried in February of 2017 and it has been difficult for us both since that time. Since then I have become overwhelmed with the desire to have a child, but when I think realistically, I know that we are still not ready to take on the responsibility of having a child right now. My boyfriend on the otherhand, is very adamant and has made it very clear that he hopes to have a child soon. So I secretly got on the pill for going on 4 months now... I know that I have to tell him soon because every month he asks if I'm feeling any different or if my cycle has come on yet, so I know that he is getting anxious and maybe even suspecting... what should I do? I know it's going to end badly.