I need some help on how to have a baby shower that will fit mine and my husbands wishes. Please don't try to tell me either of our thinking is wrong because that's not what I'm asking. We are having our first child and my husband is from a country where showers and registries are strongly frowned upon. My sister married someone from the same country and had 2 kids. She did not have a shower. People in her life were very judgmental of that and actually have stopped being her friend because she chose not to have one. She cautioned me on what happened to her and doesn't want the same thing to happen to me. When we got married I had a small shower and did not register for anything. People gave us gifts that they wanted to from the heart. It was fine. But we would not register since in his mind it is the same thing as telling people they need to give you stuff and it is selfish and entitled. I am fine with having a baby shower and don't have a problem with it. I have talked him into letting me register for some expensive baby items (like car seat) and not telling people about it just so I can get a discount on those things when no one buys them off if the registry. But he isn't comfortable with a shower. Both my sister and my best friend want to have a party for me and the baby. But I want to tread lightly so as not to make my husband uncomfortable. I'm thinking of telling them just to have some of my close friends and family for lunch and not call it a shower. Friends are welcome to bring gufts if they like but it's not required. I mostly just want to have a fun time with them. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to offend my husband with having a celebration and at the same time not offend any of my other friends who I'm not super close with who wouldn't be invited to my small lunch? I don't want to loose any friends or make my husband uncomfortable. I almost wish someone would just have a surprise party so that we wouldn't have to deal with this weird problem because it wouldn't be like we are asking for anything and other people could have a shower and not think we are weird.