All my life I've hated my body, I'm 18, 5'2 and weigh about 175 pounds. I've tried using a weight loss app, but my issue is whenever I start seeing the amount of calories I should eat and then see how many i still have left to eat, it sends me back into anorexic phases...I never lost huge amounts of weight from not eating but I struggle with the idea of eating calories, even if it's only 1,300. When I was younger I had very strict calorie count days, some days were as low as 95 calories. I felt great, I loved it. Issues is when my family and I moved and my dad lost his job, now people are home more often which makes it harder...I would love to be able to have days not to eat...and my boyfriend and I both hate ourselves a lot, we even decided to go on a really really strict diet but having people around us or going to work we couldn't handle eating such a low calorie amount. But since middle school, I've gained 50 pounds and I hate it...I don't know what to do and I hate admitting these things to my therapist and psychiatrist...I hate myself so much for my bad self control...I just want to stop eating but there's just too many people....😭😭