13 days post abortion - the ugly side

Princess
I wasn't really forced to have an abortion. The Circumstances such as my health and other factors would not have made it ideal and extremely difficult for me to keep my baby. 
I was aware and read up on the possibilities of Post Abortion Syndrome but all the research didn't prepare me for the emotional turmoil I'm going through. 
Besides my boyfriend I kept it a secret from everyone at first but I decided it might be a good idea to reach out to friends/family who might understand (somewhat) of what I was feeling and I haven't had any luck. 
I realize my boyfriend can't fully understand no matter how hard he tries and he's the one person that has been putting up with my hormonal emotions which is hard on him and our relationship.
I feel like everyday is a struggle trying to keep myself from dwelling and thinking "I killed my baby" as well as trying to control
Crying spells. 
I also can't bring myself to turn off my "<a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">nurture</a>" pregnancy updates or throw away my US picture... 
If anyone else has gone through this any response or tips would be really appreciated.