Hesitated and the nurse heard it

So a little background. 5 weeks after my youngest daughter was born so approximately June of last year my husband had a kidney stone. My daughter was exclusively breastfed and we were NOT sleeping at night. I woke to his grunts and groans and told him give me 3 hours if the pain is still there I will take you to Urgent Care. Sure enough he had a stone. I could have called that without the CAT scan. I had almost zero sympathy I JUST pushed an 8 pound infant from my parts and the stone was TINY!!! Ok fine typical protocol strain your urine, pain meds 3 days off work to pass it. Well he though he passed it but never actually saw it. So he had a physical at his PCP office and the see microscopic blood in his urine. They send him to urology for follow up. They order another cat scan and sure enough the stone is STILL there!!! The man has had no pain and this thing is monster. Urology is baffled with his lack of pain and the size of this thing how it is not obstructing. So they advise surgery. He asked for a vasectomy while they have him under. Okay fine I guess. The plan was to wait until we had the baby (I will be 15 weeks on Friday). I know as a nurse this needs to be done and yes it makes the most sense to do it while he is under anesthesia as he does not deal with medical procedures well. Fine whatever. So the hospital calls for pre op stuff today and part of the urology practices procedures is to have MY consent on this. We have more kids than anyone could ask for. But when she asked me I hesitated. Yes we are in the second trimester, yes it is supposed to be safe now. But life happens and it is not always rainbows and cherries on top. What if something goes wrong. What if something bad happens. I have spent two days in bed this week dwelling on this. Every thought makes me sob. Yes I know a lot of it is hormones but some of it is the morbid way my mind works. Always worst case scenario. I have spent too much time in Emergency medicine and times like this it shows. She completely stopped the questions and asked me multiple more times if I was SURE. I have worked with this nurse. She knows me. She knows the situation. Ughhhhhh I hate being a neurotic freak about all this but I can't help it. After our miscarriage in November I know for a fact if something goes wrong our marriage will not survive it. Which isn't uncommon with a situation like this. In the long run if everything is good he will be sterile by time I am 6 weeks out and all will be safe. Idk I know he is nervous and all but won't talk to me about it. I wonder if he has the same fears I do. Sorry that got so long ladies I just needed to vent before he gets home....