3rd time admitted into the hospital, 2 cerclages done, 1 healthy baby so far.

This pregnancy has been so much, my baby is 2 pounds and he looks fine but my cervix is just not holding up. I got an abortion when I was 19yrs old (I'm 24 now) and the sonographer said she's seen plenty of women with multiple abortions who have kids full term after that so for me not to think that's what messed up my cervix. The nurse told me the abortion may have caused problems with my cervix that's just realistic. And the doctor told me whether I had an abortion or not that has nothing to do with it...that's just how my cervix is.  so I GUESS everyone has their own theory. I cannot return back to work. Thank god I work in a school and school is out on June 28th (thank god I get paid in the summer even when I don't work!) Im trying to work in the summer but apparently that's out the window (those summer school checks come in handy especially with a newborn coming) but I have to be on strict bed rest (as of now that's what they're saying not sure yet) so I understand and I'm willing to do what I have to do. 

I am 27 weeks now and I'm just trying not to stress but it's super scary, being a FTM and having to go through all of this makes me feel like I don't ever want more kids in the future because I feel like as a woman my body can't do what it's supposed to. At this point I'm numb, thankful and very grateful to have made it to 27 weeks but still numb. I love my child even though he's not here yet and I will do anything for my baby but I can't help but to wonder what gods plan is, baby is 2 pounds 2 ounces and very active so I'm just hoping for the best! All I can do is wait.