I am extremely depressed and have been for a a few years.  A lot has happened in my life lately; good and bad.  My 8 yr marriage ended a few years ago. The divorce was actually finalized last month so the whole thing has been a drawn out nightmare.  We have two small children together.  I've been drinking a lot and not taking care of myself like I used to.  I always ate healthy, worked out consistently, never I feel like a completely different person and can't even make it to the gym anymore.  I do have a boyfriend that I've been seeing for a year and a half.  He has a daughter and so we've blended our family, which has been a blessing.  He treats me and my kids wonderful and I couldn't ask for a better man to be in our lives and I absolutely love his daughter.  I just feel like I have completely spiraled down hill during the divorce and I can't get back up.  Even though I have a lot of positive things in my life, I just feel like I'm not worthy and I can't understand why my boyfriend even wants to be with me.  I don't want to get on can't be the only way.  I have tried counseling, but my insurance doesn't cover it and I'm already in financial ruin because of the divorce.