Blood, sweat, and LOTS of tears!

After 3 weeks of blood, sweat, and LOTS of tears, my baby is FINALLY nursing! I would like to share my story in hopes that this will inspire another mama who is struggling with BF to keep pushing on!

My baby boy was jaundice, and not eating AT ALL because he was so weak and sleepy. He was unable to latch or suck because he had a tongue tie. We had to spoonfeed hand expressed milk, then when that wasnt enough we started using my sisters milk, and when we ran out of that we had to use formula until my supply started to build! Once I built a supply, I was pumping every 2 hours 24/7 and we were bottle feeding. I kept trying to nurse, but he would either fall asleep or scream. When we got his tongue tie fixed he started to scream EVERY TIME. It killlllled me. I thought it was going to be some miracle procedure that would cure everything instantly and magically he would just start to nurse... when that didn't happen I started to become very depressed. What was wrong with me that I couldn't nurse!? I have dreamed of doing this my whole life. Why isn't this working? I was so tired of pumping. I just wanted him to nurse!!! We saw a lactaction consultant and she looked hopeless for us. We tried everything and nothing was working. But I did NOT give up!!!! I believed that he would nurse. People kept suggesting that I just give up and give him formula so I could get some sleep! But I didn't listen because I'm super stubborn! It was very very verrrrrry stressful, and killed me everytime I tried to nurse and he would scream. He would latch for a couple of seconds with a nipple shield, but never without. I got to the point where I felt like maybe I should just exclusively pump, so I stopped trying to nurse for a couple of days to give myself a break so I was able to make a clear headed decision of what I wanted to do. After a couple of days (yesturday), I had gotten some more sleep and felt more relaxed. I decided to just try one more time - without the shield. Just to see. I was okay with using the shield if thats what it took for us to nurse, but I wanted to just TRY. I'm so glad I did... because yesturday he started nursing ON MY NIPPLE and nursed ALL DAY and continued nursing today despite our struggles. It was truly a miracle. I am so glad I didn't give up. No matter how defeated I felt at the end of the day, that hope and belief that we could do this got me through!!!! God is so present in my life its amazing. Prayer is truly powerful! But if you dont believe in that, then always remember to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Believe in your baby!!! And no matter how hard it gets please DO NOT GIVE UP!! Give yourself a break if you have to but DO NOT GIVE UP!!! I really reeeally hope this story reaches someone else out there who is struggling. I never knew how hard breast feeding would be. If your struggling, I promise you are not alone!!! Be strong and believe in yourself. Fight for what you want and never ever ever everrrrr give up!!!!!