I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years.

So- to give you some info prior, me and him (F) were happily together for 2½ years until I called for a break, where he found out I cheated and ended up breaking up with me. Since then, I've done everything in my power to be a good girlfriend and repent for what I did, you know? I had a relationship in between for about a month, that ended. Me and F got back together for about a week, then he broke up with me again because he was "in love" with someone else. That really shook me because I'd been trying really hard, blah blah. So come around mid April, we start dating again. I've been doing everything right, adjusting my friendships and everything so that he was comfortable, as to I caused him to have Paranoid Personality Disorder, so I was terrified of hurting him and causing him to have an episode, so I did everything in my ability to fix it. And I did, I changed. A complete turnaround from who I was. I was still very, very afraid of the girl he broke up with me for (H). Megacon rolls around, we agree we should avoid each other because his friends don't like me, and my ex was the one driving me the day he was there, so we decided it'd be best to not meet up. He told me he'd stay away from H, that ended up being a lie because "she was the only person that was there, his friends weren't there yet." So I was like yeah okay just don't lie to me, he saw my ex, had a breakdown, that whole day was ruined. End of story. But because I'd cut off my ex after that point because of how uncomfortable he made him, I asked him to do the same with H, because seeing her gave me panic attacks, he agreed. Flash forward to yesterday, he comes over, falls asleep, out of morbid curiosity I check his phone to see if he really stopped talking to her. Nope. Their messages were all sexual, him saying "I love you", that type of stuff. I confronted him, I was sympathetic because I'd been where he was at, tried talking him through, all in all we ended up breaking up. But. I talk to H, to ask her how it was ass backwards about how she was doing exactly what she hated me for, cheating. Come to find out, F & H had been in a relationship since 3/20, not too long after he broke up with me for her. No one knew we were back together. Our friends from the group call didn't know, no one knew. I was completely hidden. We celebrated our 3yr anniversary, and I got him ~$200 worth of stuff between megacon and our anniversary. He played me, manipulated my feelings, and was completely hypocritical in what he did because I was trying to fix what I did the entire time. He didn't care about me at all. And now I'm lost and lonely, and I don't know what to do. Being here hurts. I'm not really asking for help- but anything would be great.