In 2011 I gave birth to my son. It was my first pregnancy. I was healthy, the pregnancy was healthy, and so was he. There were no issues, I was happy and glowy, I didn't even have morning sickness!

At the beginning of 2015 I got pregnant my daughter, and that pregnancy was the exact opposite. It was hell. I was always sick, had multiple UTIs, and unfortunately miscarried suddenly at 17 weeks. The doctors ran all the tests and did an autopsy but didn't find a cause.

At the beginning of 2017 I dound out I was 4 weeks pregnant. We were worried, but we tried to stay hopeful. About 2 weeks later I miscarried, again.

Two nights ago I woke up nauseous and got sick. That was followed by sore breasts and a "pulling" sensation behind my belly button, and I've been pregnant enough times now to know when something's off, so I took a test and it appears I'm expecting again. It wasn't planned, and I'm actually surprised because I've been taking my BC regularly and haven't missed a day, but here we are.

Long story short, "terrified" doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I have so many mixed emotions, mostly anxiety and fear...I don't know how to be at peace after losing my daughter and then my pregnancy after. Every cramp sends me into a panic. Everytime I feel a bit of discharge my heart drops thinking it's blood. I want this pregnancy. I want this baby.

How do/did you cope and find peace of mind when it came/comes to your rainbow baby/babies?