I had a baby 3 months ago and today I just cant deal with life. Every time I open my closet I immediately close it and move over to my husbands because none of my old clothes fit me. Today I woke up and wanted to wear a t-shirt and shorts. Well my t shirts dont even fit me anymore. I'm 2 pounds heavier than when I was pregnant. All of the fat is on my hips and stomach and face. No boobs. No butt.

I just fell to the floor where I am still sitting and crying. I'm so fat and ugly to me. My husband tells me im beautiful but it only makes me feel worse because I feel like hes only saying that to make me feel better. I dont know how to get past this. I'm having suicidal thoughts because of it. I hate myself so much. I dont know what to do. I dont like my stretch marks and I dont care about the fact they remind me of my baby. I wish they werent there. I never thought for a second I would ever struggle with myself like this. But when I see pretty girls I automatically want to cry because before I felt like I could compare to them.. But now im just so awkwardly shapen and I always look like shit and smell because I can never shower and im just going through a lot right now within myself. And I dont know how to make myself feel okay with the way I look. I know I can diet and ive already started. But right now I just hate myself.