Before I got pregnant (which we were actively tracking-- we had sex when I ovulated but that's about it), we did this most of the time and in the three months I've been pregnant, we've only been intimate twice and it's also been just this.

This is how it goes: I'll usually initiate the moment. I can't get off with a g-spot orgasm (but I'm very vocal about wanting to ACTIVELY try!) and so I prefer oral. So we make out (very shortly and seemingly against his will) and before I can ask for oral, he'll say "okay where's your toy?" So I'll go get it. At first, a few years ago he would hold it himself. Now it's to the point where he wants me to hold it. So for the past three years, "having sex" is, me basically using my toy while my husband kisses and massages and licks my breasts. Um ok that sounds fun every once in awhile but that's the norm. And not by choice.

Then once I get off, I put the toy away and jerk him off. Unless I actually say "Let's have sex" (because it still feels good for me even though I can't get off and I crave the bonding and connection...), but that's 50/50. I get shot down half the time and just use my hands. Sometimes he doesn't even want me to use my mouth.

And that's seriously it! That's our sex life.... am I normal in saying, I want fucking more? I want crazy shit. I want role playing, I want spontaneity, I want passion, I cant get off in the shower but I still want a dick in me and to feel something emotionally incredible! I want "let's try something new" (and not just from me), I want someone to WANT to eat me out! I've had that and I fucking miss it. I also miss 69. My ex wanted to do 69 about 70% of the time. I tried it once with my husband and he "doesn't like asses in his face". And the times I DO get oral, I want him to lap that shit up (he's afraid of my juices--again I miss someone loving my juice), I want him to mix it up. He stays in ONE place and does the SAME motion. I have to ask him to insert his fingers in me and when he does he LITERALLY just keeps them in there. I go crazy and masturbate like 6-7 times some days because I'm not getting any and when I DO, well I'm basically still masturbating...

Is this normal???

**Also, so when I don't get oral, it's because he rejects for one reason or another. I get Brazilian waxes every 5 weeks so eventually I'm not AS SMOOTH down there, so he'll complain about my bush. When we first started dating he said I smelled. It fucked with me so bad I called my ex and asked if I smelled and he was like "Nope I always loved the way you tasted and smelled." And i hadn't changed since then... I fluctuate with my weight due to medical issues and when I gain weight, he's turned off by me.