My depression is like a tunnel with one way in and one way out. Outside of this tunnel is sunlight. Some days I'm barely in the tunnel, I can feel the darkness behind me but I can also see the light in front of me, but I'm in the gray area. The inbetween. Some days, I'm out of the tunnel, soaking in the sun rays and on those days it's easy to pretend that the tunnel of darkness isn't right there. Then there are days where I'm so far into the tunnel that I see no light, there isn't even the slightest sign of light, or life outside of the darkness that's all around me. Those are the worst days. Those are the days that usually turn into weeks, because on those days, it's like there is a rope around my waistline. The rope being my anxiety. On the darkest days, no matter how hard I try to run towards the light the rope pulls me back. I have dirt under my nails from trying to claw my way out of the tunnel, but I'm no match for the weight behind the rope. Sometimes, even on the days where I'm out of the tunnel basking in the sun and it seems the rope is gone, it reappears out of no where to pull me back in. The ones who love me grab onto my wrists and try to save me from going back in but they are no match for the pull on that rope that sucks me back in. I see them standing by the edge of light just outside of the tunnel, begging me to just walk out into the sun with them. They remind me of all the things in my life I have to be happy over, as if I don't know, but they don't see that I can't leave, at least not for long. No matter how badly I want to, I always get dragged back in..