Embarrassed and awkward

So whoever posted about being embarrassed to masturbate in front of their bf is totally right. I got to admit when i first read the post i was like shit me and mine are so close we could do anything. But then tonight i attempted and it got weird. Ya see, we didn't have condoms so i decided to use my dildo and vibrator. My fav combo. And he was pretty chill about it but when i got it out he all of a sudden wanted to go to bed and kept asking if i was gonna "do it already". And a huge wave of awkward came over the room, and i just wanted to die right there. Its so completely awkward and uncomfortable to masturbate in front of my partner i guess. Not only because of my preferences but i guess because of his too? Not sure on his part but tge way he was acting screamed awkward. Needless to say i put everything away and didnt pleasure myself, i give up,✌

Going to bed in agony now.