Question for past/present breast feeding moms :)

I'm 18wks with baby #3, Whoo hoo! But due to molestation for years I couldent even comprehend even the idea if breast feeding my older kiddos. I've had lots of help and I do feel a lot better about everything, but I still don't think I'll be able to breast feed without breaking down. :/ So my question is: Did you still supply milk by just pumping? If so for how long, and how long can you store it for without it going bad? I'm already producing some pre-milk, and I'm soo engorged that I hate to not try to give my baby my milk. But I honestly don't think I'll be able to stand the suckling even though I know it's from my sweet baby. :(. Thanks in Advance!!