Ever since i found out the news Friday about my test results my whole weekend has been devastating! We went too a cookout yesterday with our friends who have too young twins & my SO was holding one & i wouldn't be lying if i didn't say my heart broke into pieces watching him 😭💔 it was so hard. I tried too keep calm & give all my faith too god but a piece inside of me just feels missing now. It hurts. The joy i felt everyday is now gone, i go back too the doctors thursday for an ultrasound too either confirm a miscarriage is indeed happening or if my results just went down & everything is still okayy. I cant help but think negative thoughts because of the miscarriage i had in November. Im sad, scared, empty hopeless, devastated & anxious. I cant help but hold my 2 other children knowing god has already given me 2 babies too give all my love too & pray that somehow, someday ill be able too experience the love all over again! 💜💙💛 But its hard, god is it so so hard.