I feel so horrible. I have a two month old son, he is the light of my life. I am a stay at home mom and my significant other works from 7am till 10pm most days. Because of that I take care of the baby at night so he can be rested for work.

Thursday he got his 2 month shots, he hasn't slept more than 5 minutes at a time since then. I called his doctor to make sure it's normal and they told me to ride it out.

In the last 3/4ish days he may have slept 7 hours total and I between 3-4 and awake for near 92 hours.

I have no one who could watch him and asked a mommy page on facebook if I could let him cry for an hour in a safe space so I could sleep. I explained I have been hearing things that hadn't happened, blanking out not remembering putting him down next to me, that I was scared.

I was told I was a horrible mother. I chose to have this baby. I need to put him first, that I don't deserve my baby, and because I had sex I can't have normal bodily needs. I wish I could blast the page for being so..... disgusting but I'm better that that.

So now I sit here with my screaming 2 month old trying to figure out where I went wrong. How did I mess up this badly? Does he know he has a horrible mom and that's why he's screaming? Should I let someone else raise him so he'll be happy? He's fed, burped, diapered, I keep singing and smiling trying to make him better but I'm a failure.

Going to edit on here, so my OH cut his day short and had me sleep for a few hours, while I was sleeping he took a shit for 45 minutes I guess while he cried, he cried himself to sleep and has been asleep for near 3 hours. Finally. He was fed, diapered, put in his swing, and given his tylonal. I'm surprised that he fell asleep. And he was watching him on the monitor just to let you know.

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