The only time I know we're married is when we have sex

I will start by saying that I am having a really hard time posting this because it seems so ridiculous when I've typed it out.

My husband & I have been together for 13 years, married 4, with 2 kids under the age of 4. We do work opposite shifts 3x/week but other then that, we do see each other during the week and on weekends. When the kids have gone to bed, that's it. He either goes to bed or stays up (watching tv, playing a video game, having a snack, etc). I usually fall asleep with the kids because every time I've stayed up, he's not interested in hanging out with me. He never plans for us to do anything alone, like a movie or dinner. No trips, no nothing. He complains that he wants alone time for himself, just like I get but honestly, does he need it every night for 2 or more hours at a time? I come home late too & I'm expected to take care of laundry, dishes, cleaning up the rooms, etc. he also thinks when I come home that I'm going to bed and sleeping 10+ hours of solid sleep. I feel like I can't win. He doesn't listen to any of my ideas or suggestions, he always has the better idea or plan. He always tells me what to pack or bring when I take the kids out (do you have diapers, water bottle, socks) as if I'm just some teenager who's never babysat or been around kids. It's frustrating, it hurts my feelings & knocks my already low self esteem down more. I've tried talking to him before & he makes me feel like I'm being over dramatic or that I shouldn't feel down about anything because he doesn't, so why should I?

I'm starting to get jealous of other people's marriages because I see them taking date nights, going on anniversary trips and just randomly praising their spouses as smart, funny, beautiful, love of their life, etc. and I get treated like I'm an idiot. He's never told me I'm beautiful, thanked me for the kids, shows no affection (except for sex-when he wants it). I really don't know what to do other then to just suck it up and pretend that he's right all the time & I'm wrong so I really shouldnt say anything to him except "yes" and "oh no honey, let me do xyz for you"