Any advise? Btw long story

SharLene • #girlmom💓

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years we have had our ups and down like any other relationship except use to the first 3-4 years of us dating we would date for 6 months maybe and he would get "tired of me" saying I argued to much with him or was to clingy. Me honestly I'm not clingy it's just when he is at work all day and I'm alone at home I just can't wait to see him. And when he get home I wanna ask how is Day went love on him share a conversation with him just let him know he is loved at home. That he is not unwanted there ya know? But he use to want to come home from work and leave go hang out with friend till 5-6 in the morning and hated taking me! Sometimes when I would stay home I would text him around 12-1 am asking if he was coming home and he would just turn off his phone I tell he got home and say " my phone died" he was lying big time bc I got his phone and turned it on and it would be on like 50-80% ugh! And arguing? I may have argued a lot with him but it wasn't because I was being a bitch or trying to be at least I would just tell him how I felt when he done me that way that he made me feel unwanted there and not loved. I knew he had been talking to a girl at work but wasn't for sure if they was seeing each other or not I do know she knew about me bc I caught him one day telling her he wasn't happy with me and he didn't love me no more.... I didn't upfront him at the time bc well... hearing that from a guy your in love with that kills the heart.. well anyway going forward a bit to 2016 we started talking again and he was telling me he messed up and he is in love with me but nothing surprising bc he done that every time we broke up and he wanted to get back together we talked for 3-4 months everything great like usual and I moved back in with him in October 2016 due to family issues.. still living together and doing good way better then before now I am pregnant with his baby I am 20 weeks pregnant and honestly I am in love with him. I have always been inlove with him that's why no matter how bad he hurt me I came back bc even tho the times he made me feel like shit. The times he made me feel like a princess made up for that... I've been called stupid by family and friends for getting back with him I have also lost all my friends and most my family bc I chose to get back with him but he is my happiness.. I didn't have the best childhood.. the people your suppose to trust and look up to hurt me in way that are unimaginable... and I've never been shown the things he has shown me and it's because of that I just can't leave him alone.. but my question is we have been together 5 years this October and we live together we are gunna have a little girl in November and he says all the time I can't wait to marry you and he has always said that to me well I asked him the other day after he said that to me " why don't we just go ahead and get married?" He told me know that one day we will that he wasn't ready and I asked him why like what was holding him back what was he waiting for? And he told me..........!!!!!!! You may get mad and take everything away from me that if things didn't work out and I got mad I may try to take his stuff away during a divorce... idk why he thinks that I even asked why he thought that and he wouldn't give me a answer I've never gave him a reason to feel that way..... what do you guys think? Is he just doing the usual but in a different way what?