Bi and cant do anything about it....

I come from a very LDS family and didn't even stop to think that I might be gay or bi because they would hate me. I am not married to a man and Have come to realize that I also like females. I have always been bky crazy and the girls is a newer thing for me. My dad would straight up disown me as I'm sure so would the rest of my family. My husband also gold me that if I ever wanted to do anything with a girl I would have to leave him first unless he is involved with the action. I understand this, and I love him so deeply, but it breaks my heart that I'll never be able to express or see how things go with a girl. Especially since I really really like a specific one... 💔