Please read until the end...

First off I'll start by saying I have intrusive thoughts triggered by OCD and not depression but somewhere in between? Ok so I'm already nerve wrecked because I had an interview at this place and called a few days later after they didn't call me and the woman said that the computer was down and they had to get a technician to fix it and my name was on the list with who all were supposed to be hired.. I made this call Monday and they said they would call the people after the computer was fixed.. still waiting on a call and my mind is getting the best of me i know I can't do a lot of things and nothing ever goes right for me...so this was surprising to hear that my name was on the list ..but I can't do anything because I want to know what's going on and why they haven't called.....now for the real mess..my "family" knows how I am and steadily tries to correct me..I can say one thing and that woman will get angry say I'm being disrespectful and hit me.. what I say isn't what I would call disrespectful..I am just blunt and I hate when I don't get a straight answer..and what that woman doesn't know is that when she does this is all she's doing is making me much worse..I really want this job so I won't have to see her as much because she makes me want to self harm or even commit suicide and when I talk to her about it all she says is, and I quote,"kill yourself if you want to that's your dumb ass" which makes me feel absolutely horrible..I pray to the Heavens that I get this job so I can be able to settle my hectic mind and try to become a better person but these people aren't making anything better..please share advice

I want to remAin anonymous so I'll upvote helpful comments