I just had my first anxiety attack in a while and I hated being in that head space again. I hated feeling like everything that I've done in the past couple of months was pointless and not worth it. Like all my hard work didn't matter. Like I didn't matter. I just wanted it to stop, but there was also something that felt natural about it. Like I was in the eye of the storm. Knowing that all of my thought weren't real, but also thinking that they were right. it made me super confused and made me second guess all of my decisions that I've made. I felt hopeless and helpless and like I was drowning and didn't deserve to be saved... I'm still coming down and it's always the worst part for me. Remembering everything and trying to push all of the negative thoughts out of my head. I just wish that my family understood my anxiety better and would stop telling me to just let it go. As if I'm choosing to freak out.