background: married. I'm 24, he's 26. together 3 years, married just shy of 1.

We've had a lot going on in our lives that has been stressful. Giant remodel. Master's program for me. Lots of stress. Sex life is great. Romance is minimum due to time and just sheer exhaustion.

His ex girlfriends used him for money a lot. I'm a big hearted, giving person. I like gifts. I like surprises. But, currently on my second marriage, I've only ever really had three boyfriends ever actually surprise me with something.

so here's the question:

what's the best way to explain to my husband that gifts and surprises are kind of important to me? Not in a financial way, like don't go buy me some giant diamond upgrade wedding band. But like, I love Groot (yes the tree from GOTG), there's a $20 necklace at GameStop I absolutely adore, even sent him a picture of it.

It doesn't even have to be him buying anything for me. It could be something as simple as him laying out something he loves for me to wear because he thinks I'm beautiful in it and us going to dinner.

How do I explain I want him to do these things without making him feel like I'm upset or him getting super defensive or feeling bad?