What do I say and do?

Question

My friend tried for 3 years to fall pregnant and went through two cycles of fertility treatment. She finally fell pregnant naturally and been having a rough pregnancy. Today was her 11 week appt with Dr. She was told that baby stopped growing at 8weeks. She is booked for a d&c tomorrow. My heart is so broken for her. Please tell me what do I say to her. All I could do was hold her. I just had my baby 5 months ago and I feel like I can't even talk about her now because I don't want my friend to hurt more. Please tell me if there's anything I can do to help her. Or anything I shouldn't do or say. I'm devastated for her.

Answer

Don't say everything happens for a reason.
Don't say there must have been something wrong with the baby. 
Don't say at least you know you can get pregnant. 
Just tell her how sorry you are and tell her that you can't imagine what she is going through. It's okay to tell her that you don't know what to say. And ask her what she needs. Check in on her often! Even if she doesn't always respond. Keep showing her that she isn't alone. Life after Pregnancy loss is such an isolating feeling. Just be there for her.

Answer

Just be there for her and let her take the lead.
Everyone heals differently, my niece was 5 months when I lost my son and although it was hard to see her at first, she has been my salvation.
Do the simple things, make her dinner, offer to do some shopping or help cleaning.
I appreciated the people who would text regularly to check I was ok, who understood that I wouldn't always reply, the people who remembered important dates and grieved with me.
There really is no right, what works for some doesn't for others x

Answer

First up I think it's so sweet that you would come here to ask that question. Brings a tear to my eye. You are such a good friend and obviously so thoughtful I think you will do just fine for your friend and she is luck to have you.
Like others have said, just spend time with her, let her cry if she needs to, don't be tempted to say things you think will make her feel good as there's really nothing you can say that will help. Just be there and don't avoid talking about your baby. She won't begrudge you because of her loss.
Thanks for being one of the good ones! We need you guys 💕

Answer

There isn't anything you can say, just be there for her and listen. That's all you can really do.

Answer

What made me feel better after both of my losses:
1: Flowers
2: Meals/snacks brought to us (bonus points if they brought a chocolate shake)
3: A friend to just sit with

Answer

I'm so sorry was the best thing I could hear. Tell her your hear for her in any way she needs 
Offer to bring a meal, do dishes, do laundry, take her for a pedicure in a week or so, get her a massage....I would have really appreciated any of the. Also get her a nice card....cards go such a long way. Let her lead the conversations especially when it comes to your child. I still want to know how my friends kids are and I want see and snuggle them. Just let her lead the way. Just being there for her goes a long way. I also really appreciated the texts saying "just thinking about you. I love you. I'm here for anything you need" especially when it was everyday or every other day. 
Don't say 
it happened for a reason
God need another angel
Something must have been wrong with the baby
You can have another 
At least you can get pregnant

What do I say and do?

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