Eating disorder help

I suffered from an eating disorder when I was around 14-17 and have always been concerned with my weight even after I "recovered". When I started dating my now husband I gained 20 pounds in a year and this past May I started working out and eating better and I've lost 15 pounds since then. For the past month or so i can feel myself starting to become...idk addicted to losing more weight. I love to see the number on the scale drop and I've been eating less and less each day. How do I stop this? im not sure I even want to stop but i know I need to. When iwas a teenager I was in the hospital and on medication and seeing a therapist and that's how i got past it. But I don't have money to pay for that stuff now. I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to motivate myself to fight it. My husband is really into working out and eating healthy and he counts calories and it makes me anxious like he thinks I'm so fat and ugly and only does those things for him so that I'll do it too.