Hurts to smile...

No. really. it PHYSICALLY hurts to smile. everytime i try to smile for a picture, it feels so awkward and unnatural and the muscles in my face actually shake from the strain. It's weird because less than a year ago I was always smiling and people said I had a "bubbly" personality. Now i cry every day. Some days just a little, other days I can't stop and I shake from sobbing so hard. I can only imagine what ny neighbors think. I've become somewhat of a shut-in also. I only leave my apartment to go to work. I even have my groceries delivered. The thought of interacting with other people on any level makes me want to crawl out of my skin and throw up from the somersaults in my stomach. Last year i had 2 miscarriages, my dog died, and at Thanksgiving I discovered my husband was cheating on me and using meth. Then, in April, after begging me for another chance and declaring his devotion just 4 months prior, he brings home a prostitute on heroin on our wedding anniversary, declares her his soulmate and tells me he hates me and i need to leave. At this point I just can't see how I will ever be happy again.