frustrated and emotional

my husband and I are both almost 40 and still trying to conceive baby #1. he has lost his sex drive and is on blood pressure medicine. we have been trying fertility treatment and are going to do ivf in September this will be my last attempt at trying as I've done several iuis also. I feel so frustrated though by the lack of intimacy. his older brother also just had his 3rd kid the other day but rather than feel excited I feel sad he's completed his family and we can't even make 1. today I broke down too while cleaning out my closet. I love my husband and know he loves me but the lack of intimacy kills me and makes me cry. I also really feel it now that his brother has a 3rd one