Ranting / seeing if I'm not the only one

I've always struggled with anxiety and depression, also a recovered bulimic.

I smoke everyday, multiple times a day. I've noticed that when I'm sober and clear headed, I'm not happy. I can be very depressed, sometimes suicidal and all around, I can be a very sad and an anxious person without it.

I've also noticed that when I don't smoke, my appetite isn't there and I get less sleep.

It's not the weed because those feelings have always been there. If anything, smoking encourages me to eat, helps me sleep especially without having nightmares, calms down my anxiety, and overall makes happy.

I shared a similar post like this under the stoners community but I figured I could post it here, too.