depression relapse

in this latest relax I am losing my hair luckily it's long and thick so it's not noticeable been so stressed out lately my 4 month old is teething and my 2 year old is acting out because the four month old is crying all the time I love my children so much and I don't mean to get stressed out and I always feel guilty for getting stressed out don't get me wrong they're well taken care of I don't deny them any attention I don't deny them any love it's more of just me screaming in my head when I can't get my two-year-old to listen or my 4 month old to sstopcrying it's more of me feeling guilty because I feel like I'm a bad mom because of the fact I can't seem to make them happy at the moment if that makes any sense at all on my good days I rally through list and on my depression days I just fall apart inside feel like there's two sides of me wcalm and collected and the other that's secretly going insane