I guess no one can really help me,

I haven't got a lot of people to talk to where I live my boyfriends family just back him up and so does mine.

I got pregnant at 16 still currently pregnant at 17.

*terrible I know*

I work and so does my boyfriend.

But since I got pregnant, I've hated it.

God knows how many times I thought about abortion! Then adoption and my boyfriend let me do neither and threatened to leave me if I put the baby up for adoption cause I wanted it to have loving family.

Before I was pregnant I drank done drugs smoked stupid teenager and went on fair rides every day you know my boyfriend worked at a fair so I got on for free.

Since I seen two lines on the test I stopped fair haven't touched drugs in months and months saved up got a 800 pound pram 3 in one travel system and also a 600 pound cot and a 300 pound Moses basket plus a bunch of clothes and bounces and everything new. And got a new job also what pays really high.

More to come.

My family is happy well apart from my mom she's distant. (Doesn't ask about my scans or how baby is doing.) instead she yells at me for nothing. Wants me to move out which I'll do soon.

The baby, well I'm scared of it being ugly? Why? Because I'm ever so skinny and the dad isn't and he's so immature he'd rather buy bikes (motor bikes and not 50cc either)

He pulls this most stupid fucking faces and it worries me what if the baby looks nothing like me 😞 stupid I know but he's so immature it's stupid!!

His mom agrees with him to buy big bikes or a car (when he hasn't passed his test or even got money for insurance!)

I told him he can have a car when baby is here aslong as he passes his test! He goes behind my back and asks all his mates and everything for cars!

If I tell someone no he can't have them they take the piss saying he's whipped it's not whipped it's being responsible! We have a baby on the way and being young that isn't easy as much as I'm trying! Today he knew I was going to the hospital and he's in work he said he'd call me as he gets breaks (he works on the fair) he's just blanked all my messages and phones calls he hasn't even. Checked up on the hospital 🤦‍♀️ as I was having pains and I have a very bad rash and a very swollen lady part! And discoloured (bluey red roar!) extremely painful!

Sorry for this long rant lol. It's nice go get it out 💕

Please don't judge I made a mistake it wasnt planned and I was on birth control!