Sorry for the long post, but it's worth the read

Some of you may relate and some may not, I found out I was pregnant back in April. I knew I was before I even took the test. So I told my boyfriend right away and he acted fine about it. Days went by, I come home from work and a huge fight breaks out about me being pregnant, he wanted me to either have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. Being only 19 it's been very hard on me. I love this guy but how can he make me choose him over a new life, over something we've created through what I thought was love. I ended up going back to my moms after he decided to slam me into the wall. My mom has been by my side this whole journey so far, cooking for me, making sure I'm comfortable before I go to bed, making sure I'm safe everytime I go to work, etc. As I lie here thinking... shouldn't he be doing all this for me? I've ALWAYS lived a happy life until now. I'm happy because I'm carrying my baby boy, I'm happy because I know that will be unconditional love. But I just have this Cloud of depression, anger, sadness sitting right above my head daily. There's so many mean things I want to say/do but I know I'm better than that and I know it's not worth it. I feel so lonely and it's the worst feeling in the world. I see all these beautiful pregnant couples getting married, living happy life's... and then there's me, pregnant and alone. Wondering if I will ever find love again. Wondering if anyone would want to step up and be a step father. Time will tell. I pray to God daily for a miracle but the truth is he's already given me a miracle, he's growing in me. Everyday I just want to give up and hibernate in my room, alone from everyone but I stay strong and work hard for my boy. Everyday I just want to break down and cry but I don't because I know my boy feels everything I do. With all that being said, I'm naming my son Josiah. It means "God Heals" but really Josiah has healed me and will continue to the rest of my life. If you're going what I'm going through, stay strong, trust in God and remember you're not alone ❤