If you found out your in laws had been saying horrible things about you and your spouse and making up crazy lies about you, would you let your kid around them?

LONG STORY.

So my in laws have hated me since forever. Which is fine because I hate them too (I have good reason though.). I don't tell people about things they've done or said to me (except my husband, best friend and mom) because I don't really see a point. Historically if they did or said something really shitty to me, I'd tell my husband and move on with my life.

About a year and a half ago my brother in law's girlfriend (let's call her H) started cutting my hair and every time I saw her, she'd mention stuff that she could only know if my in laws told her. For instance, she'd say "L & G (in laws) told me about this weird interaction you had with them. What happened?" Or "I saw L & G and they mentioned xyz (something personal)." It got to a point where every time I saw H, she'd tell me about a story they told her about me that was either a half lie or a total lie. For instance, they told her I screamed at them because they just politely asked me how breastfeeding was going. That wasn't even remotely accurate. Then it became apparent that they weren't just lying and telling half truths, they were literally complaining about me and *every* interaction we had. Literally, if I had a 3 minute interaction with them that was a non issue, they'd make it like in that 3 minutes I insulted them 30 times. H knew about every single conversation and interaction for months. They were saying I was holding my son hostage bc I didn't let them come over more than once a week but in my mind I thought "why would I let them over here more when I know they're just going to go around complaining about me to everyone the second they leave."

We told them we knew they were telling family members and friends personal things about me and my parents (like that my parents were addicted to painkillers) and that we knew that they tell people about half truths and complain about me and we said "all we ask is that if you have a problem with one of us, please come to us to talk to us about it before complaining to everyone else. You're ruining our reputation in the family and community."

They said "no. We won't stop. This is what normal families do. We see a problem with you two and we won't be silenced."

At that we said "okay fine, you're not welcome in our life then. If you can't respect us enough to handle problems with us instead of everyone but us, you don't deserve to be in our life."

Then while trying to find a way to reconcile I found out they told everyone in the family that I ACCUSED THEIR YOUNGEST SON (m) OF MOLESTING TWO GIRLS IN THE FAMILY. That was blatantly false. The first girl they said I accused M of molesting her when I absolutely didn't. She once told me she despised him and said she wished hed leave her alone and I literally said to her "why do you hate him? Has he ever hurt you or touched you?" I wasn't even talking about sexually. I just meant in general has he ever hurt her. The second accusation I don't know where that came from because I wasn't even aware the two had met (they said I accused M of molesting his uncle's girlfriend's daughter who lives 3,000 miles away. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

So at that point I said forget it. I'm never reconciling. As someone who was sexually assaulted, that infuriated me. It's been 10 months since they saw their grandson or my husband. His first birthday is coming up. My husband says he doesn't want to reconcile but I can tell he's hurting. I don't know if he's hurting bc he feels like his parents don't love him, because his entire family won't talk to him unless he agrees to let his parents see our son, or if he's hurting bc he misses them. I told him he could see them if he wants. But not our son. I won't allow my son around people like that. He said he didn't see any benefit to having them in his life and even if he did, he doesn't think they'd want him if he wouldn't bring our son around with him.

I've made the choice to never go near anyone in that family again. Not even for funerals. But should I one day let my son around them, even though they've hurt me by ruining my reputation, lying about me and most importantly have a total lack of remorse about it?

The lies they said about me hurt but the lack of remorse is what is unforgivable to me.