For years I have been suffering with my weight because I was depressed after the lost of my fiancé, my first love back in 2007! Back then I thought I was fat but of course like most adults looking back, I looked good! It wasn't till 2015 I had reached my heaviest of 198, and with that weight I grew more depressed, always sad and faking my smiles and thinking suicidal thoughts. My friends were always worried, tried to set me up with dates or people or take me out but more and more I have become very discouraged and felt not only fat but ugly as well cause I was never a choice to any man that I showed interest in! When I found out that I was nearing 200 pounds I cried! I had finally reached a moment that I had to either do something or there would be no return! I tried working out, and it was not easy on me or my body. I didn't know what I was doing and felt stupid for even trying! It wasn't until I met a guy who made me feel beautiful in my own skin (also helped that he also into big girls)! He made me feel better about myself and it seemed I worked harder and better toward my goal, though it still wasn't easy loosing my weight. We have our many ups and downs but because of him I found something I would have never found on my own, Brazilian jujitsu! Because of this guy I was introduce to this self defense martial arts that not only benefit me for my own safety but helped me loose my weight much faster! Now I don't really think about loosing weight to feel good, now when I weight myself on the scale everyday, I mostly think about getting to a smaller weight class so I can be the bigger girl! I know that thought seems so weird but you would understand if you compete in jujitsu like I do! I have transformed so much that when I look back I see how far I have come! So any woman who thinks it's impossible, it may not be cause of the work outs or the running, sometimes you got to find something that is fun and a workout! Jujitsu is my fun work out what is yours?

If you have a story to help other women feel better about themselves and your journey please share!

Me in high school 2007