My sad story....

Hey glow. I've been going through very dark times and have teared up just about every day because of it. I was emotionally neglected by my mother and raped and molested by my older brother. It hurts because he made me do things daily that I felt weren't right but never really had an option. I was verbally/physically abused by my mother. She's stomped on my chest, choked me against the wall with my feet off the ground, and blacked one of my eyes. All while under the age of 11. I was bullied often, and was never really listened to. I told my mom about my brother, but she never took it too seriously. I always had self-esteem issues, not really liking my dark skin, and I was always too thin for my taste. My little sisters developed into woman all while I felt I looked of a 10 year old boy. I was never consoled properly, being the blame for almost all of my feelings. I was bullied and neglected socially for awhile. It snuck itself into highschool too. Being bullied and talked about sucked. Feeling you're less than everyone sucked. Feeling like you have been alone all your life sucked. I am now about to be 20 years old. I have anxiety, depression, I have anger issues, and I can never be completely calm. I am always on edge. I am stubborn, and I have this weight on my shoulders that I feel will never roll off. I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters. We all grew up confused. But I was always bullied for being darker than the rest up until age 15. Thank you for listening. Have a good day.