Last month was hell

last month I almost went crazy on 2ww and finally is it was a bfn now am at it again but this month but trying so hard to be clam and pretend all is well but seriously ALL IS NOT WELL A Aaaaaaaaaaaaah why is this so hard now am legally married and I have the right to be pregnant as much I want but it all comes down to bfn after a painful mc of twins ......OMG but was getting knocked up while single,,,,, so what change now ...... geeeeeeeeeesssssss this the hardest period and time ever TTC is so hard but 2ww is even more harder