Scared to test...HELP!

Kiara • ~🥰Momma to 2🥰~
I don't want to get my hopes up but according to glow AF was due 4/1/15 and I haven't seen her yet. But I'm terrified of testing again and getting yet another negative. What did you guys do to get the nerve to test after so many bfn? I feel like such a disappointment as a woman that I haven't been able to have this blessing with my partner. His smile is so big and bright and perfect when he talks about our future children, sucks to disappoint him too.