I DONT swallow

Carolina • Positive thoughts leads to positive results-in love❤️
I'm 17 and I give my boyfriend blow jobs all the time I don't mind them but I mind the cum like I do not want to swallow it and my bf think I always do but I always spit it out secretly in  like a tissue that on the night stand and put it under his bed until I go to the bathroom and throw it away because I always take off all my clothes when we go to His room and I put it next to the bed on the opposite side where he won't see what I do! Should I feel bad about this what I do? I don't want to tell him