Another month, another negative...

Well, here comes my sob story, and I apologize in advance if I offend anybody. I am 30 years old, married to an amazing man who I love dearly. We have been together for 11 years, married for ten years. I have three beautiful sons-Lukkas Jagger who is just about 10, Cullen Trayce who just turned 6, and Jensen Hunter who just turned 2. When I was pregnant with Jensen, my husband and I decided that we were going to get my tubes tied, even though it was an extremely hard decision to make. Fast forward to the day after Jensen was born and my OB/GYN sitting on my bed telling me that the tubal ligation was never completed because the paperwork wasn't completed correctly and since I was under the influence of anesthetics, I wasn't able to say yes or no. At first I didn't really know what to say, but after my husband and I talked about it, we became more and more excited-I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, so I figured that was our sign from the good Lord that we were meant to have 4 babies (and maybe the next one will be a girl!) We began trying for the forth baby when Jensen was about 10 months old and had weaned off of breastfeeding. I have always had irregular periods so it is hard to track anything. In the last year, I've gone on and off of the pill, taken hormones, and even completed a round of clomid last momth. I've used Premama drink mix, used all of the old wives tales, used ovulation and fertility oils in my diffuser...everything I can think of. I started having some cramping yesterday on the left and was hoping and praying it was from implantation. My hubby suggested a test...it was a digital and NEGATIVE. My period is set to start in 4 days, I go see my OB next Friday. I am just so sick of everyone else getting their BFP after TTC for a month or two and it's been a little over a year for us. I really believed that we were being given that chance for a reason, but now I'm so heartbroken

and depressed with continuous negatives that I don't even know what to do...