How did you do it?

Question

Hey ladies, 
This is kind of embarrassing so please be kind. 
I'm getting my life together and expecting my first in October. I feel inadequate as a mom already because hubs and I share a room in an apartment with a 70 yr old man. We live in California and while Ive been out here for 12  years and want to find a new city/state to prosper, SO wants to enjoy the (-expensive-) Cali life. Yes, I've brought this up to him but he's feels leaving is giving up or failure. $1000 to rent this room is just ridiculous to me on top of all our other bills, food, other expenses
That being said, we're starting from the bottom. I feel bad bc it's going to be three of us (him, me, baby) in this room. it's already cramped (master w/bathroom) as it is. I get down on myself bc I see these mom's talking about their nursery and decorating baby's room.. and I've got used baby stuff from a resale 
At the end of the day baby is going  to get all the love mommy and daddy have to give and we're going to do our best to provide for her everything as humanly possible. 
I'm just in my feelings and feeling like it's not enough. 
I don't want to be here in this position forever. I feel hopeless right now. 
I certainly am grateful for what we do have, praise God, Ijust feel like I'm not measuring up. needing encouragement..

Answer

Your baby won't care if their stuff is used or old or not beautiful. All they'll care about is receiving unconditional love from you. You will not be inadequate, you will be great. Maybe after a few months to a year you can see what it's like in your living situation regarding your area's cost of living and re-evaluate what is best for your family. Good luck and try not to stress 💗

Answer

Where I live a decent rent house is from $300- $700 depending on number of rooms. I couldn't bring myself to pay $1000 for one damn room let alone 5. I would move. But that's just me. It'll be easier on both of you until you get back on your feet.

Answer

Everyone is going through some sort of struggle. It's just that some are good at hiding it! You won't stay in this position, forever. You never know what will happen tomorrow, try to stay positive!:)

Answer

Hey girl I know how you feel. My hubby & I always rented rooms since we began dating up until recently. I got pregnant and so we started looking for an apartment living in California is very expensive and we live in the Bay Area which is one of the most expensive places to live in Cali. We ended up moving into an apartment and rent is so high :/ but we make sacrifices like no more eating out, no more buying expensive makeup, or clothes. Our baby girl is due the beginning of October and we have a small one bedroom apartment and everyone makes fun of us because our baby wont have a nursery but it's okay! We also bought almost everything second hand from Craigslist, let go and Once Upon a Child. She won't know the difference between new and used items. I know it's scary but you guys can do it! Maybe it's too late to move now because you're so far along but maybe after your baby is here you can save up to move even if it's just a guest house or a bigger room.

Answer

Maybe many new parents DO have perfectly planned and polished nurseries, but so what? A fancy room full of baby stuff isnt necessarily required to have a healthy and happy baby, and as another commenter mentioned, your baby won't know one way or the other anyhow. And just because you see women here on the app posting about things that seem really nice to have, doesn't mean that EVERY new parent has all that stuff. Don't compare your life to others, instead, tell yourself that you're going to be happy and satisfied with what you currently have, and simply set goals for your family's future. At the end of the day, a baby needs love, not a $700 crib with matching blankets and pillows and furniture sets and fancy baby monitor systems and all that other fuss, and lucky for you (and all of us) love doesn't cost a thing. And for what its worth, I happen to have loads of second-hand baby clothes myself for our first little guy, there's nothing wrong with that, just find good brands and things without wear and tear is all. 
And another thing that might make you feel a little better: I know a couple who went all out on their daughter, bought all the baby gadgets, etc ....and then promptly didn't end up using half of them. Their baby didn't like to be in those bouncer toys, she didn't like to sleep in their bedside bassinet, she didn't end up wearing a lot of the new clothes because she grew so fast, she never ended up even using a paci, they didn't use the fancy baby-carrier-wrap because she was born in the summer and it was too hot. Sometimes having less is more when baby is first born, because some babies are picky and won't even like or end up using stuff. Moral of the story: love you baby, and concern yourself only with the basic needs, like diapers, food, and clothes, and don't worry about anything else 🙂

Answer

I won't be spending a fortune for the baby. I will only buy what's absolutely mandatory at the beginning. The baby doesn't know and doesn't understand anything. All those fancy and some ridiculously expensive things are for the parents. I'd rather "spoil" my child when he is older and he will be making memories then to satisfy my desire to see the perfect crib or tons of cute baby clothes. Don't worry for now, you have all you need for this baby. And remember you won't be in this situation forever!!

Answer

My boyfriend and I are in a teeny tiny one bedroom. As long as you feel safe in your environment, don't worry about it. When baby's a bit older you'll probably want to look for another place but don't worry yourself with it now.

Answer

Cali life is expensive but you can get a one bedroom appt for $1000 with paid wAter and garbage so may I ask why are you guys renting a room for the same price?

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