I had 2 kids once a boy and a girl they are 11 months apart. there father who was a drug addict introduced me to the life style i did not like it and i fought with him everyday about it i struggled to take care of my kids without him but he always found a way back into my life when my kids where 2 and 3 i became so depressed with my life and where it was going so i made the choice to try drug and see what the big deal was, that was the worst mistake of my life. not long after me trying drugs i became addicted within a month and had gotten my kids taken from me i became horriably missarable and drowned my self in drugs i was now killing my self slowley i gave up on everything even my own life i had no hope what so ever. 3 years gone by i ended up in jail cought me a charge bad enough to go to prison for, i remember praying to god for a second chance at life and well he gave it to me i got a deal to be put in a program to better my self and my life i did my program and i graduated took me a year but i did it its been a year since i finished that program i was once in and it changed me i am more humble then ever an i have made my amends and asked for forgivness but the biggest thing for me was forgiving myself i have for the most part. my reason for this post is i have a bf that is extrealy good to me and we have been together for quite a while now we are TTC and well i feel that it wont happen for me because i already had my chance and that god wont give me one more baby because i lost my first 2 kids. any ways im not perfect and i made mistakes but i have grown so much and i figure if i can take care of my self and be responsible then i can raise a child. #IonlyWantOne