I Think this is the last straw

So my boyfriend has a hot wife kink and and constantly telling me to find a guy, well I did, we all get in a group chat where those to agree to get my gangbanged WITHOUT MY OPINION. I tell my boyfriend in a private chat and he goes "it's not gonna happen relax" so I just keep going with it, then the other guy brings up another girl, which is my boyfriends fantasy, a threeway with two girls. Again I'm not consulted. I'm in a group chat with all of us now and she's way more experienced and can do more than me and my boyfriend is MELTING. I'm just bawling because of what he is saying but I of course have to pretend I'm fine cause I'm "his slave" 😭 he completely changed when we got in the chat. I'm literally crying now I hate this.

Update:

He says it's just talk, then made me send a vid and when I said a didn't know he said "don't fuck this up for me"

UpdTe:

He apologized for everything, he said he didn't mean to be that mean to me, but he still is being mean in the chat. It got so bad I started to self harm again, I just feel so use less and miserable.

Update:

So the chat people were super nice because of my anxiety and self harm issue and my boyfriend just goes "yeah she does that" and is all pissed cause I can't sneak out for a fucking foursome. Idek what to do anymore I love this guy so much but everytime I make one mistake he acts like I'm the worse person in the world