Grieving does it ever stop hurting ?

Question

Still no period after miscarriage never felt more alone and confused.

Answer

Sorry you have to go through this too. I just miscarried on Thursday😰 I would have been 5 weeks with my first pregnancy. Me and my husband are both 23 years old and we were ttc for 15 months. I finally went to see what was going on and we found out that I wasn't ovulating. So my specialist put me on my first round of letrozole in July and it worked and I got pregnant! I was SO EXCITED. I bought a onesie that said "I love my daddy" and layed it out for my husband to surprise him when he got home and I had onesies made for both of our parents to surprise them. We planned on telling them today. But that all got crushed Thursday 😰 I never ever thought that I would have to go through something like this. Especially with my first pregnancy ever. I cried all day long Thursday and didn't eat a thing. I cried off and on yesterday and have been so sad/angry. Today the anger part has start to set in and I feel so empty. It's like a piece of me got ripped away from me. I only knew for two weeks that I was pregnant 😰 we even went out to celebrate when we found out and went to babies r us to look at baby things. I just can't stop asking myself why this had to happen to me and why do I have to go through this. What did I ever do to deserve such a thing like this. It is the worst feeling in the world. But my husband keeps telling me that everything happens for a reason. Maybe the baby wouldn't have turned out healthy or would have had a birth defect and God didn't want me to have to go through that. I had my levels tested Tuesday and everything was completely normal and my levels were nice and high and then Thursday I all of a sudden woke up with brown blood. I had my levels checked Thursday and then got the call later that day that my levels dropped and that this isn't a viable pregnancy. She said it was probably a chromosomal abnormality or probably because this was my first pregnancy on my first round of treatment but it more than likely will not happen the next time. I actually had a dream the day before I found out I was going to miscarry that it was going to happen. I had a dream the night before that I would get up and go to the bathroom and there would be brown blood and I would miscarry. I didn't think anything of it and thought it was just a bad dream. Until when I woke up that next morning and when I went to the bathroom there was brown blood and I found out that day that I was miscarrying. I believe it was God's way of letting me know or my bodys way of telling me. This emotional pain hurts so much. It makes me sick to my stomach seeing people announce their pregnancy all over Facebook. We will get our rainbow babies tho. Dont worry. I hope I get my rainbow on my next round 🌈 that baby will be so special to me after going through this. I still about cry looking at my positive pregnancy tests. I just cant help but wonder what this baby would have looked like and if I had a boy or a girl in me. 😰 I was so so so excited 😰 just not fair

Answer

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Grieving does it ever stop hurting ?

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