So I'm mum to 5 amazing little ones; my everything! I'm 27 I work full time and my husband runs his own business.

I've just had a termination. I really thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I suffer with low platelets during pregnancy and whilst I was pregnant with my last son they dropped very low. My first born boy has mild cerebral palsy and requires a lot of our time for appointments ect.

I found out I was pregnant very early, booked a consultation booked for treatment for the following week. When I had had a blood test. It was cancelled twice. Once due to lost blood results and second was told I wasn't able to use private service due to my already low platelets. I was referred and have to wait till I was 13 weeks pregnant meaning It was surgical rather than medication. It's been a week since and it's honestly the biggest mistake I've ever made. I can't say I'm sad or upset I just feel numb. There is nothing I can do to Change what I've done every time I think about what I've done I feel with dread. I don't know what the point of this post is other than needing to hear from anyone that's been in a similar situation and if it felt better after time. I honestly feel like I'm broken. I know they having another child wasnt right for us but I can't help but think we should have made It work. Why would baby 6 of been any different to baby 1 2 3 4 Or 5? Only my husband and close friend know about what I've done and they think it was right. Why can't I see the good in it anymore?! How is this every going to be ok?