Depression!!

Hey everyone So me and my ex boyfriend broke up he went thru my messenger and seen some things me talking to this guy but the thing is we was not together we had a complicated relationship he wasn't mine and I wasn't his but at the end of the day it's still us I know that's confusing AsF.But anyways we broke up for good he came bu a few times after that like everything was normal he spent a night everything a few days later I hear he at his "Ex girlfriend "House from

Her friend when I tell you my heart fell

In a million pieces I texted the girl

Yesterday because me and him seen each other yesterday he gave me a kiss and everything she said "He has been over there and he is coming back"😪😪😭I know I hurt him but when we was in a relationship I caught him with her twice outside "talking"Mind you imm only 19,He's 23.He has no data so with a iPhone it will send as text message I texted him last night it was green i figured maybe he went to his friend party I wake up in the morning and it's still green I know for a fact he over there cause he wouldn't be spending the night at a friend house .to make this long ass story short I'm am so HEART BROKEN OVER THIS I CRY EVERY 15mins I'm drinking more smoking weed more my heart is truly crushed and I feel

Like an idiot thinking I can be with someone who had a 5year relationship with this girl,My 1 year we been together I can't compete with that ,me and him even TTC I DONT WANT TO START ALL OVER WHEN ALL I WANT IS HIM AND I LOST HIM FEEL LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT ,I feel like my whole heart is gone idk if in need council or what I know I'm to young to go through this I'm drained someone give me advice I feel like apart of me is gone