Am I terrible?

Question

So my cousin just recently lost her twins one very early on and one at 23 weeks. Am I terrible for wanting my own and TTC? What if I do get pregnant I could bare tell her. She was trying for 5 years.

Answer

I'm with the other commenter, it's not terrible to want your own and begin TTC. Life doesn't stop when tragic things like this happen, I'm so sorry to hear about her loss. I've never suffered a loss like this, but I've been TTC for almost 5 years myself. All three of my brothers have had kids and are now working on their second's - one just called with their news a few weeks ago. It's very hard - and there is a bit of jealousy, a brief moment of sadness that it isn't your own happy news that you want so badly... but then there's so much happiness for such incredible news for everyone who gets to be a part of this miracle's life. Your cousin will understand, but as the previous commenter also said - be sensitive to her situation. Tell her in person if possible, don't be offended by tears. If you can't tell her in person, definitely a phone call not a text. Make sure she hears it from you, not from a third party person. I know it's hard for you to imagine having to tell her your news after all she's been through, but trust me, she'll appreciate not having to learn about it third or fourth wheel. Good luck TTC and prayers for your cousin and the family 💜

Answer

You are not terrible. You don't stop your life because someone else is going through something horrible. 
I lost my son when I was 20weeks pregnant. 
I had a hunch a good friend of mine was pregnant and I told her that when she is pregnant I hope she does not feel like she needs to keep it from me. Just because I am sad for my husband and I doesn't mean I can't be happy for her. I would be thrilled if she got pregnant. 
Just be sensitive to her feelings. I wouldn't tell her you are trying or talk to her about it. Tell her in person and just be sensitive to her feelings. It's a horrible thing she is going through but if she is close to you she would not be angry or unhappy with you. I could also be totally wrong in everything I said. But I think the best thing you can do is be sensitive to her situation.

Am I terrible?

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