What if I said no

I'm trying so hard no to cry while typing this. It was my fault.... I started the kissing, and I pulled it out... but I only wanted the tip in....not the whole thing, and I made it clear. I feel used, and I feel worthless. I kept calling his name, asking him to stop but he went deeper, making the pain unbearable. I'd cry, and he'd kiss me, to distract me from what was happening. I lost my virginity the wrong way....and it's all my fault💯