How do you cut somebody off that won't let you?

Question

My sister is a drug addict, she's lied, she's stolen, she's just awful. I've tried my best through the years to offer her help, and love. She won't take that. She won't help herself. I can't help her. I understand it's hard for her, but I can't be around her either. She's never taken care of her children, and now that I'm pregnant I don't want her around mine. She's been in my new home one time, she stole multiple things from me just in that one visit. I've been very straight forward with her on how I don't want her in my life, but my mom won't cut her out of hers so anytime I go to my moms or even just call my mom I have to put up with her. I can't stand her. I understand to my mom, she's her daughter, but to me she's just the reason my nephews are without a mother. Like I said I've told her nicely I don't want anything to do with her, I've told her rudely, i've tried ignoring her, but still anytime I call my mom she answers and will refuse to let me talk to my mom unless I listen to her go on first, I always just hang up now. And anytime I go to my moms and she shows up I leave immediately. I don't know what to do. My mom tries to take up for her at every corner and I understand her view is different from mine, but I can't be around her.

Answer

I've had to do this before and I'm sorry you're going through it. Your sister needs professional help and it won't happen until she starts to wake up a little bit and start learning how to love herself. With that said, what I think you should do is talk to your mother and let her know that you can't call the house anymore. You are cutting your sister off and therefore, you will not call the house or make any more visits there. I would tell your mom that if she wants to talk to you or visit with you, she is more than welcome to come to your home, but not with your sister because she isn't allowed at your home. You will not speak to her, and you will not be around her. If your mother can't respect your decision, then you simply need to stand up to her and tell her this is the way it is and if you don't like it, you'll be on time out also.

Answer

I'd have a talk with you mom and say that it's important to you that she make an effort to see you outside of the house where your sister won't be. Ignore the sister and meet with your mom in a neutral place. Have your mom call you when your sister is not around. Or arrange with her for you to call and let it ring once then hang up and have her call back when she is able to talk freely or text before hand.

Answer

i have a family member like this and because of my family going through and doing the same things i had to give up on them all. i understand its family and you wanna help but i also have been through it and you cant fix them or change them. they have to want it for themselves and sometimes they dont want to change. i had to walk away from my entire family not only for my child but for my own mental and emotional state. im alone now but im happy and doing better than ever and i have nobody to bring me down. when people have enough amd start to realize its damaging their family and lives they will do the same.

How do you cut somebody off that won't let you?

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