I wish I could just check out and go somewhere that I had now worries or responsibilities. My husband and I have been TTC for some time now with no luck, and every month I lose a little more hope. This past month was particularly bad because I was 4 days late and one can't help but to get excited at that point. In coping with it I had a full meltdown and drank away my sorrows making a fool of myself in front of my entire family. Things at work aren't great either and I'm just struggling to find any positivity in this horrible world. My best friend had a baby a month ago today and I still haven't gotten over the hurt to go see that gorgeous baby and she lives less than five minutes away from me. I just want to know when will it be my turn to have a baby, to be the pretty one, to be taken care of, to feel successful and not like a complete failure??